For Humor

User avatar
Lucius
Mentor
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2018 12:20 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Lucius » Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:31 pm

You prepare to drag <player>.
(You may stop dragging at any time)

Roundtime: 3 seconds.

A sleek white jungle drake beats its massive wings, stirring up an exceptionally strong wind!
You are struck by hurricane-force winds!
You remain standing!

You head southeast, dragging the corpse of <player>.

Random flex moment. Also: Stormwatchers beware, there's a new kid on the scene that can get nice and close to those wind funnels.

Maeriwyn
Member
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 2:12 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Maeriwyn » Fri Jan 18, 2019 1:45 am

When you're having a lovely stroll through the forest, until...

Image

Nobody
Member
Posts: 71
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2018 9:06 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Nobody » Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:04 am

For our VI community members, the previous post features a gif of a man dressed in furs and holding an axe walking to the edge of tall grass and then getting riddled with multiple dozens of arrows. He drops dead and looks like he doesn't have a square inch of the front of his body without an arrow in it from face to feet. The accuracy is impressive, as no arrows seem to have missed.

Dorn
Member
Posts: 672
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2013 4:45 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Dorn » Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:06 am

He obviously had zero perception. Pretty accurate.
~Dorn
Uyoku takes a bite of her smelly skunk poop.

Zeldryn
Member
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2018 11:12 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: For Humor

Post by Zeldryn » Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:03 am

[Haiban, Founder's Square] (gathering spot) (OutUr) [temperate] Mild, Overcast, Calm
A small garden surrounds a large bronze #statue in the middle of the square. Shaded #benches are placed around the #statue, interspersed with a variety of flowering plants. Directly opposite the #statue, against the mountains, is a large #establishment and a four-story #tower. Both are clearly upscale, based on their facades.
There is a small crowd of people here. The area is mostly quiet.
Also here: Tamsin (lying on some benches) and a dusky gray warhorse.
Obvious paths: west, north, south.
EHAvd>

You loudly whisper, "PSSSSST."

You loudly whisper, "Do you like pie?"
EHAvd>
Tamsin gets up off some benches.
Tamsin stares.
Tamsin heads into a four-story tower.
A young couple stops to inspect the statue, making hushed comments to each other.

You think to yourself, "Gods. Ya' can't even offer a stranger pie from the shadows these days."

Alila
Member
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2018 6:12 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Alila » Mon Jul 15, 2019 2:42 am

Maybe this humor is a little self indulgent and fueled with sleep deprivation, but I could not stop laughing.
Speaking to a fungus-covered bowtruckle scarab, you quietly say, "I am contractually obligated to tell you to…please get frosty."
(Afterwards)
Vlora asks, "And contractually obligated to say what?"
You quietly apologize, "I am also contractually obligated to only use the phrase during moments of suitably climactic import, Vlora. Sorry."

Alila
Member
Posts: 41
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2018 6:12 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Alila » Sun Jul 21, 2019 7:46 am

Pleeeease help. The casualties of this encounter were my ribs, and um, maybe some flapjacks. I can think of no better place to immortalize Zoe's conversational skills. O_O

Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "If you want to capture a zoe.. all you got to do, is leave something shiny, on some sort of mechanism.. with a cage above, a zoe is garenteed to, pick the something shiny up, and cause the cage to fall, and.. well, then captured!"
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
You interestedly ask, "There are multiple Zoe Explodymctriggerfingers? Or did you mean simply anyone with the name Zoe?"
You take a bite of your stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Biting into the wheatcake reveals a sweet, sugary maple flavor hidden within.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "Multiple zoe explodymctriggerfingers!"
Zoe nods.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "I've met a few of them, they tell me theres more out there!"
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "You might have met a few too.. without realizing it!"
You nod.
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Zoe takes a moment to look at some wanted posters hung on the Town Hall.
a Shadgard constable arrives from the east.
a Shadgard constable is followed in by a sad-eyed black and tan bloodhound.
You quietly ask, "Do you think they have different days off, or is it a day off for all Zoes?"
A Shadgard constable carefully searches the area.
Speaking to you, Zoe says, "Hmm, i think some might have different days off, theres some really.. really strange ones out there."
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
You take a bite of your stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Biting into the wheatcake reveals a sweet, sugary maple flavor hidden within.
Zoe says, "Maybe i'll get to rile someones feathers today."
You quietly ask, "Hmm?"
Speaking to you, Zoe asks, "Seems like a good idea doesnt it?"
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
You quietly ask, "If you would like to, Zoe. Did you have someone in mind?"
You take a bite of your stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Biting into the wheatcake reveals a sweet, sugary maple flavor hidden within.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "Hmm.. the first person i lay my eyes on, out in the wilderness!"
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
You quietly ask, "Hopefully they have feathers to rile then, Zoe. Perhaps an archer or a bird?"
You take a bite of your stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Biting into the wheatcake reveals a sweet, sugary maple flavor hidden within.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "Hmm.. artus is an archer, maybe i'll get to find him!"
You quietly add, "Oh, or maybe um, someone with a particular style of hat."
Speaking to you, Zoe asks, "Such as zeldryn?"
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Zoe exclaims, "Well, whatever i find, theres still all day ahead of me!"
You quietly say, "He does seem to own that style of hat, yes. But um, it could be anyone, Zoe."
A Shadgard constable carefully searches the area.
You take a bite of your stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Biting into the wheatcake reveals a sweet, sugary maple flavor hidden within.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "A skeleton archer, with a hat, with a fluffy feather!"
Zoe nods.
A Shadgard constable carefully searches the area.
a Shadgard constable heads east.
a Shadgard constable is followed by a sad-eyed black and tan bloodhound.
You blink.
You uncertainly ask, "Um, since when were nethrim involved in this scenario?"
Speaking to you, Zoe asks, "Should they not be involved?"
You quietly reassure, "It's okay. They can be if you would like them to, Zoe. It was only unexpected--sorry."
You take a bite of your stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Biting into the wheatcake reveals a sweet, sugary maple flavor hidden within.
Speaking to you, Zoe says, "Ah, thats alright.. its, alright, sorry.. i didnt mean to bring up the unexpected."
You shake your head at Zoe.
You quietly reassure, "It's okay, Zoe."
Zoe gives you a lingering hug.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "Thank you!"
You give Zoe a lingering hug.
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
You notice a point-eared scruffy coydog move stealthily into the area.
Speaking to you, Zoe asks, "Alila?"
Zoe takes a bite of her stack of maple-drenched flapjacks, finishing it off.
You think to yourself, "Hmm, yes, irony. A skeleton archer with a feathered hat and fletched arrows would certainly have many feathers. But being as none are metaphorical or even truly part of itself, they cannot be riled."
You quietly ask, "Zoe?"
Speaking to you, Zoe asks, "Thank you for the breakfast, it was a wonderful breakfast.. with you, but.. i need to have a short nap now, for a bell or two, if thats alright?"
You notice a point-eared scruffy coydog move stealthily south.
You quietly say, "Certainly, Zoe. Sleep well? Perhaps I will encounter another Zoe while you rest."
You smile at Zoe.
You take a bite of your stack of maple-drenched flapjacks.
Biting into the wheatcake reveals a sweet, sugary maple flavor hidden within.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "I do hope you do!"

Zeldryn
Member
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2018 11:12 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: For Humor

Post by Zeldryn » Fri Jul 26, 2019 4:56 pm

[CHAT - Lore Hermit Rias (Retired) (Discord)]: Aphraen, Warden of Dreams, Guardian of Temicotli, Caretaker of the World Between Worlds, and God of the Night, shows you a masterfully-crafted celestium longsword. You notice Ardor's crafting mark.

User avatar
Zahrah
Member
Posts: 92
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 12:30 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Zahrah » Mon Jul 29, 2019 8:17 am

Zeldryn darkly concludes, "Speech sigh."

[FROM Zeldryn (OOC)]: Lol. RIP
[TO Zeldryn (OOC)]: I loled.
[FROM Zeldryn (OOC)]: This is what happens when i'm uncaffeinated.

#thatlatenightRPlife
[FROM Zeldryn (OOC)]: You're a fucking amazing RPer. +1000

Dorn bluntly asks, "And does it appear I have a wagon in my pocket?"
You quip, "It would honestly not surprise me if you did."

You notice a horribly disfigured squirrel quietly scanning the area while attempting to appear nonchalant about it.

User avatar
Zahrah
Member
Posts: 92
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2017 12:30 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Zahrah » Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:47 pm

Speaking to Quintin, you airily declare, "I am offended, Quintin -Gregory- Wright. Wounded, even."

Talyn laughs!

Zeldryn loudly repeats, "Gregory?"

Speaking to Zeldryn, you loudly insist, "Gregory."
[FROM Zeldryn (OOC)]: You're a fucking amazing RPer. +1000

Dorn bluntly asks, "And does it appear I have a wagon in my pocket?"
You quip, "It would honestly not surprise me if you did."

You notice a horribly disfigured squirrel quietly scanning the area while attempting to appear nonchalant about it.

Talyn
Member
Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Dec 10, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: California

Re: For Humor

Post by Talyn » Sun Aug 04, 2019 11:49 pm

You say, "Oooooo, you're in trouble."


Speaking to you, Muuno says, "She's gonna scold him like a mom now."

Speaking to Muuno, you say, "Five riln for the mom voice next."

Xanthe
Member
Posts: 46
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 7:51 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Xanthe » Tue Aug 06, 2019 3:08 pm

Zeldryn murmurs, "Tone melodic."

User avatar
Math321
Member
Posts: 49
Joined: Thu Apr 18, 2019 4:00 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Math321 » Sun Aug 11, 2019 4:50 pm

19:46:38 [CHAT - Emerald]: how do you make cooookies

19:46:52 [CHAT - Palliator Melon the Produce Puller]: with love, and vanilla

19:47:34 [CHAT - Palliator Melon the Produce Puller]: irl im gonna make peanutbutter cookies either tonight or tomorrow. depends on how cookieguest I feel

19:47:49 [CHAT - Quintin Wright]: Cookieguest is an adjective now?

19:48:11 [CHAT - Palliator Melon the Produce Puller]: cookieguest is all

19:48:22 [CHAT - Quintin Wright]: All is Cookieguest.
Characters I play:
Quintin, the Artisan.

Maeriwyn
Member
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Jan 15, 2019 2:12 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Maeriwyn » Mon Sep 23, 2019 10:37 pm

So I was on a little adventure with some friends...

You read the Common Letters written on an old and weathered sign:
==========
TANGLEWOOD RETREAT
==========

Maina says, "Looks violent.."

You nod.

You peer down a dirt and gravel road leading deep into the woods and see ...

[Tanglewood Trail] (OutFrFlDt) [temperate] Mild, Fair, Calm
Several large wagons have been positioned along the road to block any means of access. One of the
wagons sits on the ground without any wheels. Arrows, spears, and wood pikes clutter the area
infront of the blockade. Behind the wagons the forest has been cleared and leveled to form a wide
road heading northeast.
You have trouble seeing in the low light. The area is mostly quiet.
Obvious paths: northeast, the wilderness.

Speaking to Alila, you ask, "Do you know if there are any useful herbs in there?"

Alila glances at a dirt and gravel road leading deep into the woods.

Alila quietly asks, "Um, it is difficult to say--the resen there are dangerous. But maybe,
Maeriwyn?"

Alila apologetically admits, "I have never truly looked."

You say, "I don't see anyone.. let's take a quick peek..."

You head down a dirt and gravel road leading deep into the woods.

You are followed by Alila, Maina and a dark brown mule.

(Literally 2 seconds later:)

an infested logger arrives from the northeast.

You venture out into the wilderness.

You are followed by Alila, Maina and a dark brown mule.

You hurriedly exclaim, "Welp! Nevermind!"

Zeldryn
Member
Posts: 14
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2018 11:12 am
Location: Pennsylvania

The first Octum Ghost sighting

Post by Zeldryn » Mon Oct 07, 2019 1:36 pm

Fausta grins at Zoe.
a mangy brown hound heads south.
(Zoe walks over to zeldryn and tilts her flask over him.)

(Zeldryn just opens his mouth, tips his head back, and uses one of the eyes of the ghost costume to drink as much as he can as it soaks him.)

Zoe exclaims, "Here lies ghosty number 3, who thought he could get away with haunting us and the town, may he drink this brandy and be forever remember, for his evil deeds and the like!"

You adopt an agreeable expression.
You solemnly intone, your voice muffled by your costume, "Gods rest his sheet."
Light winds stir the air.
You stand up.
Roundtime: 1 second.
You're feeling hungry.
Zoe exclaims, "And and.. he was loved and will surely be missed, by the family of 13 he left behind!"
Aeri arrives from the north.
a mangy brown hound arrives from the south.
(Zeldryn makes ghost noises.)
(Aeri looks around, then faints.)
Light winds stir the air.
You see Aeri.
She is about six and a half feet tall and appears to be young. She has wavy waist-length fiery red hair and piercing green eyes. Her skin is ashen and her body's build is average.
Her right eye is lightly damaged.
Her head is scraped.
Her chest is scraped.
Her abdomen is scraped.
Her right arm is scraped.
Her right leg is scraped.
She is wearing a small clear crystal pendant, a horn-clasped doeskin pack, a mottled green wool cloak draped over a long-sleeved bone white wool blouse, a pair of back-laced dark brown wool leggings bound by a carved dark oak cincher with a haft-frog carrying a copper logging axe attached and some rabbit fur ankle-boots.
Open containers: a mottled green wool cloak, a haft-frog and a horn-clasped doeskin pack

You blink at Aeri.
You glance at Zoe.
Zoe exclaims, "These ghosts are a real problem in this town!"
You glance at Fausta.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "It wasnt me!"
(Zeldryn creeps slowly over to the fainted Aeri, leaning down ominously.)
Fausta says, "I didn't do it."
Zoe says, "Well, kinda, perhaps it was the smell of the brandy.."

Speaking to Aeri, you loudly whisper, your voice muffled by your costume, "Boo."

(Aeri shrieks.)

(Zeldryn wobbles around ominously, brandy clearly staining his costume.)
a mangy brown hound heads east.
You quietly rasp, your voice muffled by your costume, "Long have I lingered. Long have I suffered."

(Zoe attempts to trip zeldryn as he wobbles around.)

(Zeldryn is promptly tripped.)
You lie down.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "Linger more, and suffer more!"
Speaking to Aeri, Zoe exclaims, "There there, I'll protect you from the nasty ghosts!"
(Zeldryn proceeds to continue wobbling and squirming ominously on the ground, still making ghost noises.)

(Aeri seems to be more or less aware now and she listens carefully.)
Fausta says, "Zoe the Ghostslayer will protect us this Octum."
Zoe says, "Oh, oh.. its like that then, time to pull out a secret weapon."
You tumble backward over one shoulder and spring to your feet!
Roundtime: 1 second.
(energy -1)
ENAvd>
You feel fully rested.
Zoe removes a brown canvas backpack from a wooden storage crate.
Zoe puts a brown canvas backpack in the wooden storage crate that is in the room.
You squint at Zoe behind your simple black bedsheet ghost costume.
Zoe removes a sapphire-studded bright-pink leather backpack from her sleek white warhorse with a flowing mane and tail's deep brown leather saddlebags embossed with gold gears and cogs.
Zoe attaches an etched frosted glass flask inlaid with silver to her diamond-studded hot-pink leather belt.
(Zeldryn watches Zoe carefully.)
a mangy brown hound arrives from the east.
[ESP-GRAY - Rosewood]: Greetins.
Zoe puts a sapphire-studded bright-pink leather backpack in the deep brown leather saddlebags embossed with gold gears and cogs that is on her mount.
Speaking to Zoe, you quietly urge, your voice muffled by your costume, "Boo?"
(Zeldryn wobbles ominously.)
[ESP-GRAY - Ice-Blue]: Hello there.
Zoe shows you her iron horseshoe.
There is nothing special about the iron horseshoe.
[ESP-GRAY - Ice-Blue]: New color.
Speaking to you, Zoe exclaims, "Boo!"
Aeri commands, "Spirit, I have not caused thee sufferage. I am but a newly come citizen. State your woe and be thou comforted or go thou elsewhere and be in thine own misery!"
Zoe waves at a glossy black quarter horse. [ESP-GRAY - Sky-Blue]: Sapphire?
Zoe exclaims, "That and this!"
[ESP-GRAY - Eggshell]: Is anyone available to give lessons in Melee and Dodging?
Zoe waves her iron horseshoe around.
(Zeldryn spies the horseshoe.)
You loudly shriek, your voice muffled by your costume, "AAAAAAAH!"
You head north.
[Shadgard, Main Street] (OutUr) [semiarid] Mild, Fair, Gentle Breeze
This bustling north-south road is the main route of travel from the town gate to the Commons. Various #shops and other buildings line the street as well as carts, crates and barrels, giving the place a busy, prosperous feel. Standing out amongst the venues are a shabby-looking #pawnshop and a large, rustic #inn.
There is a small crowd of people here. The area is somewhat noisy.
There are some homes here.
Obvious paths: west, north, south.
ENAvd>
You head north.
[Shadgard, Main Street] (OutUr) [semiarid] Mild, Fair, Gentle Breeze
A tall, sturdy wooden wall spans the distance between the close canyon walls to the east and west, providing protection to the townsfolk from the dangers of the wilderness outside, a sturdy wooden #gatehouse guarding the only available passage. Built in the northwestern corner where wall meets sheer mountainside is a modest #barracks. A busy, well-trod road heads southward into the heart of the town, flanked by various buildings and venues, including a #tanner and a #carpenter shop.
Several people are milling about the area. The area is somewhat noisy.
There are some homes here.
Obvious paths: north, east, south.
ENAvd>
hide
You use your knowledge of urban stealth to your advantage.
You find a hiding spot and attempt to blend in with the surroundings.
Roundtime: 2 seconds.
ENHAvd>
e
You stealthily move east.
Roundtime: 2 seconds.
[Shadgard, North Wall] (OutUr) [semiarid] Mild, Fair, Gentle Breeze
Built against a sturdy wooden wall to the north is a large #stables, providing travelers a place to lodge their mounts while they do business in town. Amongst the several buildings on the southern side of the road is a bowyer #shop, its identity made plain by a sign depicting a bow and quiver of arrows. Splitting two nondescript buildings on the southern side of the street is a narrow, shadowy #alley.
Several people are milling about the area. The area is slightly noisy.
You also notice a large wooden gate.
There are some homes here.
Obvious paths: west, southeast.
ENHAvd>
se
You stealthily move southeast.
Roundtime: 2 seconds.
[Shadgard, Brewery Row] (OutUr) [semiarid] Mild, Fair, Gentle Breeze
Thick tanks of liquor and other spirits line the outside walls of the Shadgard Brewery. The warm smell of hickory smoke and roasted meat entices patrons from afar. Several tin placards advertising various beverages hang on a long chain suspended high over the street. Perhaps intentionally, the #infirmary stands just next-door to the #brewery, while a large key-shaped sign advertises a small locksmith #shop.
Several people are milling about the area. The area is slightly noisy.
There are some homes here.
Obvious paths: northwest, east, southwest.
ENHAvd>
go dwe
You unlock the sturdy red-orange stone dwelling with your silver key and slip through, locking it again behind you.
You stealthily move into a sturdy red-orange stone dwelling.
Roundtime: 2 seconds.
[Private Home, Lounge] (InUr)
The lounge is an open, inviting area who's walls have been painted a soft and clean shade of eggshell. Pristine boards of treated black walnut sparkle along the length of the floor, similarly hued frames adorn the #doors, windows and trim. A long, elegantly carved walnut #bar dominates the majority of the northern wall, and to the west a narrow hallway can be glimpsed disappearing into another room of the house. A silver-handled #door stands to the south leading back into the streets.
The area is completely silent.
You also notice a soft gray suede couch, a pinstriped ivory and gray ottoman (closed), a glass-front simple hickory display case (closed), a well-crafted fir weapon rack with some stuff on it, an exquisite fir weapon rack with some stuff on it, an average fir weapon rack with some stuff on it, an elegant mahogany cloak stand with some stuff on it (x2), an exquisite hickory cask, a varnished ebonwood cross-section dartboard (hanging on the wall), a green pine trunk (open), a regal mahogany chaise longue with dark crimson silk upholstery, an iron-banded oak barrel, and an exquisite copper war-scythe with a tin haft wrapped with green drake scale leather.
Obvious exits: west.
ENHAvd>
[ESP-GRAY - Sapphire]: ...Why did I just see a ghost screaming and running out of town?

Post Reply

Return to “General Discussion”