For Humor

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gralkik
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Posts: 95
Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2015 9:09 am
Location: Northern Ontario

Re: For Humor

Post by gralkik » Wed Apr 08, 2020 10:59 pm

a squint-eyed rogue heads down an old central boulevard leading northwest into
some overgrown ruins.
You peer down an old central boulevard leading northwest into some overgrown ruins
and see ...

[Vatnfjall Ruins, Central Boulevard] (OutUrFrFl) [temperate] Chilly, Partly
Cloudy, Calm
Gnarled trees and dense foliage are slowly overcoming this section of the city,
twisting and writhing around the tall stonebuildings as they struggle ever higher
toward the sun. What was once a broad, solid flagstone boulevard has been greatly
uprooted and overtuned by the plants growing up from beneath it or between the
cracks separating individual flagstones. It is apparent the city once extended far
to the southeast, though everything in that direction has been completely overcome
by nature. To the northwest, the city ruins are yet safe from the encroaching
plantlife.
There is a cloud of fog here. The area is mostly quiet.
You also notice some sharpened wooden barricades.
Also here: a hulking canim brute (x4), a brawny canim greatclaw, a canim leaper
(down on all fours, lightly-armored) (x7),a canim scavenger (x6), a canim loper
(down on all fours, lightly-armored) (x7),a canim squatter (lightly-armored) (x4),
a canim squatter (lightly wounded, lightly-armored) and a squint-eyed rogue (
moderately wounded, lightly-armored).
A fate worse than death...

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Jirato
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Posts: 2976
Joined: Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:17 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Jirato » Sat Apr 11, 2020 5:12 pm

Looks like someone wasn't set up on the global unique spawn list like they should have been...
gm possess Locke
Sending your body to the Crypt to await your return ...

[[]]

You are now controlling Master Artisan Locke.

[[Jirato is now possessing Master Artisan Locke.]]

(Walk around a bit)

(Actually go to Shadgard and hang out there for a couple hours...)

(Walk back to Haiban and return to Locke's office...)

[OFFDUTY]EAvd[[POSSESSING: Master Artisan Locke]]>
go door

You head through an ornate oak door.

[Artisan Compound, Locke's Office] { artisan_compound_3 | haiban_north | coalition } [spawn] (InUr)
This round room is ringed with thin, tall windows. A large ebonwood desk sits in the middle of the room with a cushy wool chair sitting behind it. Two large stained glass lamps sits on either side of the desk and a large door leads back out to the main room.
A few people are milling about the area. The area is completely silent.
Also here: Master Artisan Locke.
Obvious exits: none.


You are followed by a stocky black-armored hiresword.

[OFFDUTY]EAvd[[POSSESSING: Master Artisan Locke]]>

gm cget locke
You are now holding Master Artisan Locke.

[OFFDUTY]EAvd[[POSSESSING: Master Artisan Locke]]>
glance
You are holding Master Artisan Locke in your right hand.

[OFFDUTY]EAvd[[POSSESSING: Master Artisan Locke]]>
gm iedit unmake confirm
The Master Artisan Locke has been unmade. Poof.

gm release
[[Jirato is no longer possessing Master Artisan Locke.]]

Your surroundings grow blurry and indistinct for a moment as you release your possessed host.

[[]]

[Artisan Compound, Locke's Office] { artisan_compound_3 | haiban_north | coalition } [spawn] (InUr)
This round room is ringed with thin, tall windows. A large ebonwood desk sits in the middle of the room with a cushy wool chair sitting behind it. Two large stained glass lamps sits on either side of the desk and a large door leads back out to the main room.
A few people are milling about the area. The area is completely silent.
Also here: Master Artisan Locke and a stocky black-armored hiresword (heavily-armored).
Obvious exits: none.

There can be only one...
[GMCHAT Uyoku]: Octum is when the octumbunny comes around and lays pumpkins everywhere right?
[GMCHAT Rias]: Dimmes says "oh hai :) u need healz? ill get u dont worry thaum lasers pew pew pew lol"
[CHAT - GameMaster Rias would totally nuke Rooks]: Here's how elemancy works: The freeblegreeble and the zippoflasm have to be combined with the correct ration of himbleplimp, then you add the gargenheimer and adjust the froopulon for the pattern you want, apply some tarratarrtarr, yibble the wantaban, and let 'er rip!

Zeldryn
Member
Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2018 11:12 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: For Humor

Post by Zeldryn » Tue Apr 14, 2020 10:26 am

[ESP-GRAY - Sapphire]: Doin' a bit o' drake huntin' out west if anyone cares to join me.

{Exactly one second later}

You head west, dripping wet.
[Dense Boscage] (OutJuBeSdDt) [tropical] Mild, Overcast, Calm
Several bushes surround the overbearing trees, almost obscuring a trail through them and deeper into the boscage. Thick, flowering vines twist and wind up the wide trunks and into the overhanging branches, blocking out most sunlight.
The area is poorly-lit. The area is mostly quiet.
Also here: a sleek white jungle drake (drenched).
Obvious paths: east, south (shallow).
EWAvdDr>
A sleek white jungle drake beats its massive wings, stirring up an exceptionally strong wind!
You are struck by hurricane-force winds!
You are sent hurtling southward!
[Dense Boscage] (OutWtrJuBeSdDt) [tropical] Mild, Overcast, Calm
A small groove through the sand and dirt keeps water from draining completely from this shallow indent, allowing the ocean to flow down it. Surrounding the area and blocking out most sunlight are several mahogany trees, each wrapped in several flowering vines.
The area is poorly-lit. The area is mostly quiet.
You recall that a chunk of raw lizard meat has been hidden here, which you may recover.
The area is flooded with shallow water.
Obvious paths: north (land), northeast (land), east (land).
You land in the shallow water with a splash!
22 crush damage to the left eye!
Socket crushed and eyeball popped.
Zeldryn has been defeated.

/Fin

Sneaky
Member
Posts: 417
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:43 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Sneaky » Tue Apr 14, 2020 10:33 am

I promise this was not intentional.
Only 100 times more funny when reading the post above, since this happened almost exactly afterward.
[ESP-GRAY - Blue-White]: Has anybody felt a strong wind today?

[ESP-GRAY - Eggplant]: Twas me. Sory.
[ESP-GRAY - Eggplant]: T'much stew.

[ESP-GRAY - Blue-White]: Oh... No... Not that *embarrassment* I mean a storm, or wind storm more specifically.

[ESP-GRAY - Eggplant]: Don' gotta be rude!

[ESP-GRAY - Eggplant]: Already said itwas me. Dun gotta pile on.

[ESP-GRAY - Blue-White]: You control the winds?

[ESP-GRAY - Eggplant]: After I eat t'much stew.

[ESP-GRAY - Eggplant]: The winds control me.

[ESP-GRAY - Blue-White]: I still think you're misunderstanding me... I want to find where it is very windy so I can study it. I am an elemancer of the university.
[FROM Liani (OOC)]: It's an ice cream conehead
You also notice a bronze crossbow bolt (x8) and the corpse of a slender pale white cave drakolin.
Alila softly compliments, "Thank you for the story--you were all excellent."
[CHAT - Lore Hermit Rias (Retired) (Discord)]: @Alila is crazypants

Vazbol
Member
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:49 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Vazbol » Wed Apr 15, 2020 11:31 am

Speaking to Donovan, Tallan says, "You're still a great ass, Thumper."

Some may agree.

Liani
CLOK Patron
Posts: 38
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2014 9:48 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Liani » Wed Apr 15, 2020 9:40 pm

This was just so funny to me.

You hear the voice of Skyler say, "Bring them whenever, skyler is already ready."
You hear the voice of Skyler say, "Always."
You hear the voice of Sarina say, "Call the ghostys."
'Why is skyler talking about Skyler as if he weren't Skyler?
[FROM Leonardo (OOC)]: lol
You ask, "Why is skyler talking about Skyler as if he weren't Skyler?"
Leonardo closes his eyes a moment, after which a soft halo of golden light begins emanating from him.
You hear the voice of Sarina exclaim, "Ask Skyler!"

Alila
Member
Posts: 71
Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2018 6:12 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Alila » Fri Apr 17, 2020 10:51 am

However it is this happened, thank you so so so so much.

In the large bird's nest you see a pewter mug.
The mug has a large handle on one side and a small number 8 etched into the bottom.
It is empty.
[ESP-GRAY - Amaranth-Purple]: Yew should always respect your Alders. If you do, you'll do Oak kay. If you don't, they might kick your, um... Ash.
In the large bird's nest you see a pewter mug.

Zeldryn
Member
Posts: 32
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2018 11:12 am
Location: Pennsylvania

Re: For Humor

Post by Zeldryn » Sun Apr 26, 2020 4:05 pm

You sniff yourself.
an infested hound exudes the unmistakable smell of BO.

That moment when you smell so bad that the game registers you as a zombified dog

Vazbol
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Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:49 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Vazbol » Tue Apr 28, 2020 3:04 pm

Well, I guess this is technically correct...

Also here: [[a canim loper (down on all fours, lightly wounded, lying down, lightly-armored)]].

Sneaky
Member
Posts: 417
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:43 am

Re: Things that go... walk? In the night.

Post by Sneaky » Sun May 31, 2020 4:44 pm

You shift to a sitting position, taking care not to reveal yourself in the process.
You hear the sound of approaching footsteps.
[Thaelsh Ruins, Central Intersect] (InCvRk)
The road intersects here, the passage south completely blocked by a massive collapse of stone and dirt. A small opening to the southwest leads into what was once a small #alley.
The area is shrouded in complete darkness. The world around you appears saturated in dark gray and green shades. The area is completely silent.
You also notice the corpse of a ghoul, a balanced iron javelin with a poplar hilt (x2), a flawless iron javelin with a poplar hilt inlaid with a lightning bolt, an acid-pitted bronze longsword, a corroded bronze kite shield and the remains of a rotting knight.
Also here: a writhing spectre (floating).
Obvious exits: north (dark), west (dark), east (dark).
Aren't these guys suppose to have balls and chains or something? You know, rattle rattle rattle.
[FROM Liani (OOC)]: It's an ice cream conehead
You also notice a bronze crossbow bolt (x8) and the corpse of a slender pale white cave drakolin.
Alila softly compliments, "Thank you for the story--you were all excellent."
[CHAT - Lore Hermit Rias (Retired) (Discord)]: @Alila is crazypants

Vazbol
Member
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:49 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Vazbol » Wed Jun 03, 2020 12:00 am

[CHAT - Gunney]: i think that these treasure hunters are the richest guys in game who dress like homeless
[CHAT - Vazbol]: Ah another person notices. Too bad they have a tendency to crit people at the worst of time
[CHAT - Gunney]: they do
[CHAT - Gunney]: case in point...
You hear the deep, echoing toll of a bell in your mind. Your vision ripples as an image briefly forms in your mind's eye:
A damaged canvas-covered shanty rests near a rough-looking lean-to, several buckets are strewn around and the bits of a wooden bench sit scattered around. Several broken arrow shafts are scattered around, some holes in the lean-to and shanty evidence of more fighting. The ground is scored and debris is strewn about. Some of the shelters are still standing, but only just.
The mental image fades, leaving your vision clear once again.
(You can use the esp rescue command to send a pulse of your personal ESP color in response, in order to alert the dead that you're attempting to rescue them.)
(You recognize that as the Ebon Bandit Fort Battlements area.)
[CHAT - Vazbol]: That's going on the humor board

Nobody
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Posts: 95
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2018 9:06 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Nobody » Thu Jun 11, 2020 5:50 am

Master Artisan Locke says, "We've received word that an associate in Shadgard just can't manage to find a single copper-bar to purchase. Bring 90 pounds of them to the market in Shadgard and sell them to the associate there."

You laugh at Master Artisan Locke.

Speaking to Master Artisan Locke, you amusedly reply, "Good one."

Master Artisan Locke says, "Alright, I've removed you from your previous task."

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Kent
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Posts: 652
Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:31 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Kent » Mon Jun 29, 2020 4:59 pm

Nobody wrote:
Thu Jun 11, 2020 5:50 am
Master Artisan Locke says, "We've received word that an associate in Shadgard just can't manage to find a single copper-bar to purchase. Bring 90 pounds of them to the market in Shadgard and sell them to the associate there."
This could take the record for the unlikeliest tale ever told in the Lost Lands.
- Kent "Gunney" Gunderman


A dirty woodsman frowns at you and suggests you return after getting cleaned up.

Helpful tips, commands, and hints for new CLOKers: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2367&p=12822#p12822

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Lemuel
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Posts: 264
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2012 9:13 am

Re: For Humor

Post by Lemuel » Mon Jun 29, 2020 10:21 pm

[ESP-GRAY - Violet-Blue]: I would appreciate if someone helps me getting my falx repaired.

Three faint chimes sound through the area, signalling the time.

[ESP-GRAY - Gunmetal-Gray]: I can help. who are you?

[ESP-GRAY - Violet-Blue]: I'm known as ohale. and you?

[ESP-GRAY - Gunmetal-Gray]: I yam Gunney!

[ESP-GRAY - Gunmetal-Gray]: Can you bring it to Shadgard?

[ESP-GRAY - Baby-Pink]: Mm, if only gunmetal repaired heavy heads.

[ESP-GRAY - Violet-Blue]: I am in the infested farmhouse at the moment but sure. thank you. for how much ?

[ESP-GRAY - Gunmetal-Gray]: I charge 100 riln per item.

[ESP-GRAY - Baby-Pink]: Any item, or just bladed weapons?

[ESP-GRAY - Gunmetal-Gray]: Baby-pink I am not entirely comfortable assisting someone of your profession.

[ESP-GRAY - Baby-Pink]: Don't quite what you think you have issue with a profession. What I count as one is putting down the opportunistic lifeforms that skulk about the quarantine.

[ESP-GRAY - Gunmetal-Gray]: Putting them down, that part I have no quarrel with; what I have a beef about, Baby-Pink, is putting them up.

Vazbol
Member
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:49 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Vazbol » Mon Jun 29, 2020 10:26 pm

That last line is as humorous as my inability to type tonight.

And oh dear, the rumors.

Vazbol
Member
Posts: 10
Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2019 12:49 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Vazbol » Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:14 pm

You hear the deep, echoing toll of a bell in your mind. Your vision ripples as an image briefly forms in your mind's eye:
The area consists of semiarid grassy flat plains. A river blocks passage to the northeast. The road forks in three different directions, branching northwest, northeast over a bridge, and south. A neatly cobbled path leads to a generously sized deep red building nestled between the split in the road. A slightly less neat dirt path leads around the back of the building where some large stables annexes the larger building.
The mental image fades, leaving your vision clear once again.
(You can use the esp rescue command to send a pulse of your personal ESP color in response, in order to alert the dead that you're attempting to rescue them.)
(You recognize that as the Shadgard Plains area.)
You've finished your forging, leaving your nail resting on the anvil. Using your curved steel blacksmith tongs, you plunge the finished item into the nearby trough of water causing steam to fill the air with a loud *HISSSSS*.
You smile as you look over your work, realizing you've managed to create quite the masterpiece.
(energy -30)
You have finished forging a masterfully-crafted bronze nail and take a closer look at your work.
That looks very nice.
You notice Neyah's crafting mark.
It is a tiny item, mainly made of bronze.
[ESP-GRAY - Baby-Pink]: Whoever just died. Please do that again. I seem to craft masterpieces.
[ESP-GRAY - Baby-Pink]: When it occurs.

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