For Humor

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Acarin
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Post by Acarin » Wed Jan 18, 2012 6:51 pm

You have abused the sacred ragequit by using it frivolously or too often. You must wait for a while before you can use it again.

Curse you...
20:21:01 [CHAT - (a mysterious GM)]: With obvious effort, Zuki pries up a thick scale over a drakolin's chest! Zuki spearhand-strikes the soft, unprotected area under the scale! Heart ruptured, death follows immediately. A drakolin lets out a final bellow of rage and falls lifeless to the ground.

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Jaster
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Post by Jaster » Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:53 pm

Jaster was stripped of his magical talents because of this.
**********************************************

You sent the following question to all online GMs:

Am I supposed to be able to learn pyromancy by studying a pyromancy book?

Please note that the GMs currently online may not be able to respond immediately or may miss the message while working in other areas, and in the case of requests, they may be disinclined to acquiesce to your request.


(Changing combat position to Engage)
Rias swings an unrealistically massive banhammer at you! (M: 125098 vs D:418)
101293600 ZOMGWTFBBQ damage - to the chest!
You go hurtling through the air!
As you sail through the air, a jagged, black tear splits the fabric of reality and swallows you whole!



[The Void]
You are in a vast, black, empty void. How you are able to breathe, see, or propel yourself in any direction is a mystery.
The area is completely silent.
Obvious exits: up, down, west, northwest, north, northeast, east, southeast, south, southwest.


EpEng>
pyro
Your hands glow with fiery light as you begin channeling pyromancy.
(Type release to stop channeling.)
Roundtime: 3 seconds.


You scream!


You say, "I'll burn you."


You release the magical energy you had been channeling.


Rias snickers.

Rias says, "Cheater."

Rias asks, "What book?"


You open a black oilcloth backpack.


You remove a burnt leather journal from the black oilcloth backpack you are wearing.


You say, "I took it off Mave.."


You snicker.


You say, "And gad had taught me channeling once a long time ago."


Rias says, "Great. Let me see it a sec. I'll hand it back, I just need to fix it."


You offer to give a burnt leather journal to Rias.
You may cancel if you wish to withdraw the offer.


Rias says, "Although if you don't give it back eventually somehow, I'll be sure you're lynched for it."

Rias snickers.

Rias puts an unrealistically massive banhammer in the weathered canvas duffle bag that he is wearing.

Rias has accepted your offer and is now holding a burnt leather journal.


You say, "I planned on giving it back to her."

You snicker.


Rias says, "There."


You say, "But I had to try and study it first."

You laugh!

******************************************

And this was funny too..

[TO Bryce (OOC)]: i have been de-pyromanced

[FROM Bryce (OOC)]: There goes your career as the amazing human set of firestones.
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Bryce
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Post by Bryce » Wed Jan 18, 2012 11:15 pm

I enjoyed the part where River's haunting spell kept scaring you away.
Speaking to you, Vaylon asks, "If I touch your hair, will I get some of your power?"
[CHAT - Helenna]: I don't know if it's funny or disturbing that you know which are the best water closets in the game.

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River
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Post by River » Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:42 pm

I meant to copy and paste some of that and I forgot before I closed the window...very entertaining.
---Also, I can kill you with my brain.

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River
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Post by River » Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:54 pm

Acarin softly says, "A very...proud and magically inclined nation."

...

Jaster says, "It's also what my butt feels like when I sit for too long."
---Also, I can kill you with my brain.

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niftyest1
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Post by niftyest1 » Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:49 pm

Oh wow...
You ask, "I lost my ear?"
Jaster says, "It happens when you die."
You say, "Ew."
Jaster laughs!

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niftyest1
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Post by niftyest1 » Sun Jan 22, 2012 3:37 pm

It's practically useless......

You swing a greatsword at a decaying black rat! (M: 68 vs D:99)
44 hack damage to the head!
A decaying black rat has been defeated.

You glory in your victory over your opponent!
(energy +5)
(energy -5)
Roundtime: 5 seconds.
You ask, "I lost my ear?"
Jaster says, "It happens when you die."
You say, "Ew."
Jaster laughs!

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Bryce
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Post by Bryce » Mon Jan 23, 2012 3:19 pm

Looks useful to me. You got that swing for free. Once you can knock things down reliably, it'll be even more useful, since you'll be able to battle away for much longer than others could, since your energy use will be much lower. Did you know it also temporarily boosts your own combat skills while lowering the combat skills of any of the target's allies in the area? I know both Evelyn and Chunkems (aka Beniah) really found it useful.
Speaking to you, Vaylon asks, "If I touch your hair, will I get some of your power?"
[CHAT - Helenna]: I don't know if it's funny or disturbing that you know which are the best water closets in the game.

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Landion
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Post by Landion » Mon Jan 23, 2012 4:07 pm

Agreed. That's hardly useless. I should look at adding something similar for mercs.
No longer GMing for CLOK.

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niftyest1
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Post by niftyest1 » Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:09 pm

hmmm...i did not know that
You ask, "I lost my ear?"
Jaster says, "It happens when you die."
You say, "Ew."
Jaster laughs!

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Lacie
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Post by Lacie » Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:02 pm

[OOC - Pincushion Acarin]: That's it...

* Acarin just tried to ragequit. Instead, he stomped his feet and screamed, 'I'm a pretty princess!'.
* Acarin has left the lands.

[OOC - Jaster from District 12]: HAHA!

[OOC - Broodmother Lacie]: BWAHAHAHAHA

[OOC - Gunslinger Bryce]: Bahahahahahahahaa

[OOC - Jaster from District 12]: aah my gut
Collins glances at a slimy big-lipped collinsfish.
Collins says, "Really..."
A slimy big-lipped collinsfish's mouth and gills gasp desperately for water as it lies helpless on the ground.
Speaking to a slimy big-lipped collinsfish, Collins says, "Go away."

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Rias
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Post by Rias » Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:33 pm

^ +1

(And it wasn't me.)
The lore compels me!

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Alexander
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Post by Alexander » Wed Jan 25, 2012 9:15 am

Very amusing indeed.
(Alexander clenches a fist momentarily, then stops and calms himself with visible effort.)
[FROM Eira (OOC)]: LET IT OUT, MAN!

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Jaster
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Post by Jaster » Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:34 pm

The bard jerromir moves in to attack you, but is unable to get close enough.

You kick a clump of dust at the bard Jerromir! (Off: 1306 vs Def: 302)
A direct hit to the face!
The bard Jerromir draws back, squinting and blinking in an attempt to clear his eyes.
Roundtime: 3 seconds.

(energy -1)
EAvd>
order
The bard Jerromir shouts for the town guards!

A keen-eyed spotter just arrived.

A punctual guardsman just arrived.

A burly guardsman just arrived.

Wait 2 seconds.

Queuing following command: order
(You may clear your command queue at any time)

EAvd>
out
An ever-ready guardsman moves in to attack you, but is unable to get close enough.

A punctual guardsman moves in to attack you, but is unable to get close enough.

A keen-eyed spotter moves in to attack you, but is unable to get close enough.
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Jaster
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Post by Jaster » Thu Jan 26, 2012 10:36 pm

a deputy (lying down, unconscious).


enough said
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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niftyest1
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Post by niftyest1 » Sun Feb 12, 2012 12:39 am

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

[Edit: Snipped several more continued bleedings]

You hear the sound of approaching footsteps.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

[Edit: Snipped several more continued bleedings]

You hear the sound of departing footsteps.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

[Edit: Snipped several more continued bleedings]

l
You can't do that while unconscious.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

[Edit: Snipped several more continued bleedings]

You hear the sound of approaching footsteps.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

[Edit: Snipped several more continued bleedings]

You hear the sound of departing footsteps.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

chat why am i not dead?
[OOC - Little Niftyest the Lamb]: why am i not dead?

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

health
Fatigue: Exhausted Hunger: Content
Your neck is lightly wounded.
Your right leg is lightly wounded.
Your right foot is scraped.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

[Edit: Snipped several more continued bleedings]

get bandage
You can't do that while unconscious.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

[Edit: Snipped a ridiculous amount of continued bleedings]

You slowly regain consciousness.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

** The world around you goes black as you fall unconscious!

You slowly regain consciousness.

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

** The world around you goes black as you fall unconscious!

(energy -8)
You continue to bleed from your neck!

[Edit: Snipped several more continued bleedings and instances of regaining consciousness/falling unconscious]

And I was still bleeding for a very long time
Last edited by Rias on Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
You ask, "I lost my ear?"
Jaster says, "It happens when you die."
You say, "Ew."
Jaster laughs!

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Noctere
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Post by Noctere » Sun Feb 12, 2012 1:34 am

Poor Nifty hehe

Look on the bright side. You could make a lot of vampire friends with a neck like that. They might also regard you as some kind of sacred life giving goddess and have you start up your own "Cult of the Bleeding Neck".

By the way, in the future please try to keep your posts a bit smaller. I realize it was just to show how silly the situation was but when it goes over 300 lines and keeps repeating the same thing, over and over, it starts becoming a bit much. Also the error that created this awkward situation has been BUG-ed.

Yeah.. I know Ol Noctere is such a killjoy. =(
Last edited by Noctere on Sun Feb 12, 2012 1:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
It's not easy being evil...

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niftyest1
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Post by niftyest1 » Sun Feb 12, 2012 2:03 pm

woah, its over 300 lines?!
You ask, "I lost my ear?"
Jaster says, "It happens when you die."
You say, "Ew."
Jaster laughs!

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Landion
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Location: Washington

Post by Landion » Mon Feb 13, 2012 12:41 am

Hey, I thought it was funny. Bleeding mechanics working like a charm! A nice slow painful death! Especially since you weren't bleeding that badly, it took a while.

(Hint? Next time try to get to bandage it, or get the healer before you bleed to death!)
No longer GMing for CLOK.

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Jaster
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Post by Jaster » Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:07 pm

Looks like she was unconscious the entire time. And she was still hearing footsteps, but that's beside the point. Maybe there should be a way for the player to just die once they fall unconscious, kind of like how on Call of Duty you can decide to suicide when you have the last stand perk as opposed to staying alive until you bleed to death or get shot.
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Landion
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Post by Landion » Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:00 pm

Naw, she wasn't unconscious for about the first 225 lines. ;)

The footsteps she heard were because she was in a dark room.
No longer GMing for CLOK.

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Rias
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Post by Rias » Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:31 pm

Best greeting ever:

[OOC - Broodmother Lacie]: Hey Alexander bo bander

[OOC - Skjotur]: Banana fanna fo Fander.

[OOC - DEV Rias]: Me my mo Mander.

[OOC - Sir Alexander Candelori]: Alexander.
The lore compels me!

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niftyest1
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Post by niftyest1 » Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:23 pm

I love that song!
You ask, "I lost my ear?"
Jaster says, "It happens when you die."
You say, "Ew."
Jaster laughs!

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niftyest1
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Posts: 63
Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2011 2:34 pm
Location: WA

Post by niftyest1 » Sat Feb 25, 2012 3:46 pm

[OOC - Pincushion Acarin]: He sees and hears all. Your children are not safe!

[OOC - Jaster from District 12]: he's a child snatcher now? lol

[OOC - Pincushion Acarin]: Beware...or the Rias will come for you as well!

[OOC - Pincushion Acarin]: Hide your sisters, hide your mothers, hide your husbands...

[OOC - Elizamor]: baha!


[OOC - Jaster from District 12]: you don't need to come and confess, we lookin for you, we gonna find you, we gonna find you

[OOC - Pincushion Acarin]: exactly

[OOC - Elizamor]: so run and tell that

[OOC - Jaster from District 12]: lookin like a fool with your pants on da ground
You ask, "I lost my ear?"
Jaster says, "It happens when you die."
You say, "Ew."
Jaster laughs!

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niftyest1
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Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2011 2:34 pm
Location: WA

Post by niftyest1 » Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:21 pm

You ask, "I lost my ear?"
Jaster says, "It happens when you die."
You say, "Ew."
Jaster laughs!

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