For Humor

Lyn
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Re: For Humor: Over clocked hair-dryer.

Post by Lyn » Fri Apr 10, 2015 1:45 pm

You point at an infested raccoon.
A tightly-compressed ball of air surges toward an infested raccoon. (=) 18 bludgeon damage (body)
An infested raccoon is sent hurtling northeastward!
An infested raccoon seems to be more or less dried off now.
It's funny because it wasn't even wet before.

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Aranon
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Re: For Humor

Post by Aranon » Fri Apr 10, 2015 6:47 pm

health
You're dead!
“Curiosity is like the stomach of a man who only eats the wind.”

Sneaky
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Re: For Humor

Post by Sneaky » Tue Apr 14, 2015 7:08 am

Speaking to a battered ash box, you exclaim, "If you don't open, You're going to get cut!"
sleek steel lockpick
(You're unable to get an accurate feeling for the difficulty of this lock.)
end roundtime
(You would rate this lock's difficulty at about 585.)
end roundtime
(You're unable to get an accurate feeling for the difficulty of this lock.)
You stop picking the lock on a battered ash box.
end roundtime
You drop a battered ash box.
You remove a polished bloodglass stiletto with a pure silver hilt from the intricately-folded silk carryall you are wearing with your right hand.
You wave your polished bloodglass stiletto with a pure silver hilt around.
sleek steel lockpick
(You would rate this lock's difficulty at about 600.)
Unlocked
end roundtime
You cackle!
You put a polished bloodglass stiletto with a pure silver hilt into your intricately-folded silk carryall.
[FROM Liani (OOC)]: It's an ice cream conehead
You also notice a bronze crossbow bolt (x8) and the corpse of a slender pale white cave drakolin.

Sneaky
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Re: For Humor, It's like, gale force, yo.

Post by Sneaky » Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:13 pm

A strong wind gusts through!
Nedrik falls in from above and lands in a heap on the ground!
[FROM Liani (OOC)]: It's an ice cream conehead
You also notice a bronze crossbow bolt (x8) and the corpse of a slender pale white cave drakolin.

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Rias
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Re: For Humor

Post by Rias » Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:15 pm

Sneaky wrote:A strong wind gusts through!
Nedrik falls in from above and lands in a heap on the ground!
Note to self: Implement a new windy weather feature.
The lore compels me!

Fayne
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Location: Illinois

Re: For Humor

Post by Fayne » Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:18 pm

Oh boy, now we're gonna hate cold and wind. Hehe
A scrawny alley cat stares after the dog with big green eyes.
Speaking to a scrawny alley cat, you ask, "Friend of yours?"
A scrawny alley cat hisses angrily.

Sneaky
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Re: For Humor, Not the words I'd choose.

Post by Sneaky » Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:20 pm

You say, "I think you're almost ready to give this a shot."
Nedrik says, "Just need to rest a minute, then I'm willing."
[FROM Liani (OOC)]: It's an ice cream conehead
You also notice a bronze crossbow bolt (x8) and the corpse of a slender pale white cave drakolin.

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Lysse
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Re: For Humor

Post by Lysse » Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:53 pm

Rias wrote:
Sneaky wrote:A strong wind gusts through!
Nedrik falls in from above and lands in a heap on the ground!
Note to self: Implement a new windy weather feature.
I fully support deadlier weather.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH4Xr6GIp4U
“There is always a choice."
"You mean I could choose certain death?"
"A choice nevertheless, or perhaps an alternative. You see I believe in freedom. Not many people do, although they will of course protest otherwise. And no practical definition of freedom would be complete without the freedom to take the consequences. Indeed, it is the freedom upon which all the others are based.”

Sneaky
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Re: For Humor: questionable personal hygiene

Post by Sneaky » Fri Apr 17, 2015 1:23 pm

You sniff yourself.
Jhordon exudes the unmistakable smell of BO.
[FROM Liani (OOC)]: It's an ice cream conehead
You also notice a bronze crossbow bolt (x8) and the corpse of a slender pale white cave drakolin.

Lun
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Posts: 613
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Re: For Humor

Post by Lun » Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:15 pm

** Suddenly you realize the tree is falling directly toward A deer. TIMBER!

A deer tries to scramble out of the way but moves too slow! The tree strikes him, knocking him to
the ground!

82 crush damage - to the neck!

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Noctere
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Re: For Humor

Post by Noctere » Sat Apr 25, 2015 10:18 pm

Oh deer!
It's not easy being evil...

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Elystole
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Re: For Humor

Post by Elystole » Thu May 07, 2015 10:15 pm

[Prairie Road, Fork] (OutWldPlGr) [semiarid] Chilly, Fair, Calm
The road forks here, branches leading northwest, northeast over a bridge, and south. Just north of the intersection is a castle-themed diner, the small stables attached to its side looking to have been damaged and stained with blood. The area consists of semiarid grassy flat plains. A river blocks passage to the northeast.
The area is mostly quiet.
You also notice the partially-butchered skinned corpse of a shaggy bison, a raw exquisite bison pelt, a raw average bison pelt (x2), a raw poor bison pelt, a raw fine bison pelt, a chunk of raw bison meat (x5) and a chunk of animal fat.
Also here: your dusky gray warhorse, Jilliana and a dusky gray warhorse.
Obvious paths: west, northwest (road), north, northeast (riverroadbridge), east, southeast, southwest, south (road).

ERng>
a desperate emaciated coyote arrives from the east.

(Type stop to stop auto-butchering.)
You continue butchering the partially-butchered skinned corpse of a shaggy bison.
Your butchering yields a chunk of raw bison meat.
(energy -3)
Roundtime: 3 seconds.

ERng>
A desperate emaciated coyote snatches up a chunk of raw bison meat and darts away with it!

ERng>
Jilliana exclaims, "Nooo! that jerk!"

ERng>
"Opportunistic bastard.
You say, "Opportunistic bastard."
You overhear the following rumor:
"I saw one of those Shadgard folk come barging into Grif's and shoot one of the patrons on the spot. Shadgard must be a pretty rough place with such outlaws running rampant."

Ahelis
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Re: For Humor

Post by Ahelis » Sat May 09, 2015 10:29 am

[Antony's] (InUr)
The entry to Antony's is in shades of light greens and blues, with dark silver accents. Sconces hold
tall candles which provide dim illumination. Thin, transluscent veils provide privacy for customers
in other parts of the shop.
The dim light lessens your vision slightly. The area is completely silent.
You also notice some changing rooms.
Obvious exits: west, north, east, out.


EAvd>
You head to some changing rooms.

[Antony's, Changing Rooms]
This lovely room has been painted an ivory white with inlaid flower designs. At one side is an ebony
mirror and at the other several small pine stalls provide a little privacy.
The area is completely silent.
Also here: an armed patrolman (face concealed, heavily-armored).
Obvious exits: out.


EAvd>
You arch an eyebrow.

Fayne
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Location: Illinois

Re: For Humor

Post by Fayne » Sat May 09, 2015 10:32 am

Someone report that peeping tom! Abuse of authority!
A scrawny alley cat stares after the dog with big green eyes.
Speaking to a scrawny alley cat, you ask, "Friend of yours?"
A scrawny alley cat hisses angrily.

Sneaky
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Re: For Humor

Post by Sneaky » Tue May 12, 2015 9:21 am

[CHAT - Surfer Dude Coanid]: I'm trying to give myself a wound
[CHAT - Surfer Dude Coanid]: who knew it could be so hard
[CHAT - Darth Aleari]: you can have mine
[CHAT - Darth Aleari]: probably going to die from it
[CHAT - Surfer Dude Coanid]: aw
(OOC) *** Aleari just earned the Dying achievement!
You hear the deep, echoing toll of a bell in your mind. Your vision ripples as an image briefly forms in your mind's eye:
Pine trees cover the temperate earthy woodland.
The mental image fades, leaving your vision clear once again.
(You can use the esp rescue command to send a pulse of your personal ESP color in response, in order to alert the dead that you're attempting to rescue them.)
(You recognize that as the Vaelgraten Forest area.)
[FROM Liani (OOC)]: It's an ice cream conehead
You also notice a bronze crossbow bolt (x8) and the corpse of a slender pale white cave drakolin.

Fayne
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Location: Illinois

Re: For Humor

Post by Fayne » Wed May 13, 2015 12:03 am

Deadliest weapon ever.
A doorman stops you and your group from entering. "Please, madam, at least the veneer of civilization. No drawn weapons, please."

You are holding nothing in your right hand and a chocolate and apple pie in your left hand.
A scrawny alley cat stares after the dog with big green eyes.
Speaking to a scrawny alley cat, you ask, "Friend of yours?"
A scrawny alley cat hisses angrily.

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Kunren
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Re: For Humor

Post by Kunren » Wed May 13, 2015 4:35 am

Fayne wrote:Deadliest weapon ever.
A doorman stops you and your group from entering. "Please, madam, at least the veneer of civilization. No drawn weapons, please."

You are holding nothing in your right hand and a chocolate and apple pie in your left hand.
So skilled brawlers can't enter this establishment? bah.
Life is like a box of chocolates. The caramel filled ones are the best.

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Acarin
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Re: For Humor

Post by Acarin » Mon May 18, 2015 8:27 am

You notice an infested raccoon quietly scanning the area while attempting to appear nonchalant about it.

Nonchalant raccoons...

Lun
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Re: For Humor

Post by Lun » Mon May 18, 2015 4:24 pm

Rias says, "There was never any issue."
19:18:56 Rias says, "Except there was. Thanks for pointing it out."
19:19:51 Rias asks, "Did you already buy one, you flapdoodle?"
19:19:55 You say, "Alash, poor yorick! yesh."
19:20:02 Rias asks, "Did you get drunk on tea??"
19:20:05 You say, "(hic)"
19:20:06 Rias asks, "Does tea make you drunk?"
19:20:13 You say, "No, I draaank shome lager out of mah flask."
19:20:20 You say, "Sho ah could fill it with teaaa."
19:20:22 Rias says, "Goof."

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Solaje
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Re: For Humor

Post by Solaje » Mon May 18, 2015 5:35 pm

That timing..

EWAvd>
strip
You hear a knocking at the door.

You hastily strip, dropping your clothes haphazardly on the floor.

Roundtime: 3 seconds.

Fayne
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Location: Illinois

Re: For Humor

Post by Fayne » Mon May 18, 2015 5:40 pm

Solaje, I wasn't aware you were shooting an adult flick. Hehe
A scrawny alley cat stares after the dog with big green eyes.
Speaking to a scrawny alley cat, you ask, "Friend of yours?"
A scrawny alley cat hisses angrily.

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Solaje
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Re: For Humor

Post by Solaje » Mon May 18, 2015 5:52 pm

Lol. I got dressed! I typed it before the knock! =P

Desmond
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Re: For Humor

Post by Desmond » Tue May 19, 2015 5:58 pm

"Rumor has it there's an Artisan running around who's also a berserker and a druid. I guess they're not too focused on their Artisan work."

Hmmmmm

jilliana
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Re: For Humor

Post by jilliana » Tue May 19, 2015 6:51 pm

Speaking to Althea, you ask, your voice muffled by your greathelm, "Can I have a piece of flatbread?"
Althea removes some hearty flatbread from her soft white leather tote.
Althea eats her hearty flatbread, finishing it off in one go.
Althea transfers the contents of her soft white leather tote to the ground.


Someone's got their priorities straight, I see.
CHAT - Sir Alexander Candelori: Truly a man is an abomination that does not dip his french fries into his chocolate frosty.
Bryce flatly says, "Just fair warning: If one of those things webs me, I'm going to scream like a girl."

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sona
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Re: For Humor

Post by sona » Fri May 22, 2015 4:10 pm

Speaking to you, Laroremas says, "Swing at my chest. Quick."

(Laroremas assumes a pose.)

You ask, "With a weapon?"

Laroremas exclaims, "Your best one!"

Laroremas says, "Better hurry before I change my mind."

You say, "I left the bloodglass greataxe at home. My mace'll have to do."

You remove a spiked steel mace from the dark leather haft-frog you are wearing with your right hand.

You attack Laroremas with your spiked steel mace!
mace (-------) 42 crush damage to the abdomen!
20 pierce damage to the abdomen!

Laroremas says, "OW."

Laroremas opens a multi-strapped dark leather rucksack.

Laroremas retrieves an untreated white linen bandage from his multi-strapped dark leather rucksack.
Laroremas carefully bandages his abdomen.

(Laroremas clutches at his chest, hissing a bit.)

(Laroremas actually clutches at his abdomen.)

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