For Humor

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For Humor

Postby River » Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:00 am

Some GM's were in stealth mode tonight and got a little more than they bargained for...

A werewolf suddenly throws its head back and emits a terrible howl!
Feelings of deep fear and desperation fill your mind!

Landion flees northwestward in fear!

Rias flees northwestward in fear!

"Bravely ran away away..."
---Also, I can kill you with my brain.

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Postby Rias » Mon Nov 21, 2011 12:18 am

Pbbtbtbbtbtbbt.
The lore compels me!

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Postby Landion » Mon Nov 21, 2011 9:39 am

"Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat..."

Freaking werewolves...
No longer GMing for CLOK.

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Postby River » Mon Nov 21, 2011 9:30 pm

[OOC - Cutpurse Jaster]: i earn my titles by talking about fecal matter
---Also, I can kill you with my brain.

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Postby Bryce » Mon Nov 21, 2011 11:03 pm

I found this both satisfying and hilarious:

A gleeful ambusher springs from hiding to attack!
(Forcing combat position to Engage.)
(energy -1)
Anticipating an attack from a gleeful ambusher, you quickly tumble out of harm's way and spring to your feet!

kick
You kick at a gleeful ambusher! (M: 180 vs D:100 P:100)
12 crush damage to the head!
The ambusher runs off, swearing and yelling "It's only practice!"

Boot to the head!
Speaking to you, Vaylon asks, "If I touch your hair, will I get some of your power?"
[CHAT - Helenna]: I don't know if it's funny or disturbing that you know which are the best water closets in the game.

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Postby River » Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:11 pm

[OOC - Vagabond Bryce]: I'm a man on a mission.

[OOC - Cutpurse Jaster]: why, you have to poop?
---Also, I can kill you with my brain.

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Postby Jaster » Tue Nov 29, 2011 11:10 pm

I'm going to make it on this thread alot. Speaking of alots... (BRYCE) http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Postby Acarin » Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:14 pm

Typical Rias....

[OOC - DEV Rias]: Oh, well in that case!

(Type stop to stop auto-mining.)
You continue mining, working on a turquoise vein with your pickaxe.
Roundtime: 10 seconds.

(energy -6)
EMEng>
Rias swings a nerf bat at you! (M: 125098 vs D:309 P:168)
0 foam damage to the abdomen!
Rias swings a nerf bat at you! (M: 125098 vs D:309 P:168)
0 foam damage to the right leg!

Rias swings a nerf bat at you! (M: 125098 vs D:309 P:168)
0 foam damage to the back!
Rias swings a nerf bat at you! (M: 125098 vs D:309 P:168)
0 foam damage to the left arm!
Rias kicks a clump of dust at you! (Off: 100099 vs Def: 51)
A direct hit to the face!
You draw back, squinting and blinking in an attempt to clear your eyes.
Roundtime: 3 seconds.
20:21:01 [CHAT - (a mysterious GM)]: With obvious effort, Zuki pries up a thick scale over a drakolin's chest! Zuki spearhand-strikes the soft, unprotected area under the scale! Heart ruptured, death follows immediately. A drakolin lets out a final bellow of rage and falls lifeless to the ground.

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Postby River » Sat Dec 03, 2011 8:28 pm

[OOC - Shadowtamer River]: mules are unpretty by nature

[OOC - Shadowtamer River]: as well as sterile

[OOC - Crazy Eddie]: Good point. I don't want a depressed pack beast as well!
---Also, I can kill you with my brain.

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Postby River » Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:27 pm

Jaster says, "You dolt."

Beniah asks, "What?"

Jaster kicks a clump of dirt at Beniah! (Off: 1077 vs Def: 102)
A direct hit to the face!
Beniah draws back, squinting and blinking in an attempt to clear his eyes.

Beniah pulls the trigger of his steel-barreled revolver.
Beniah fires a lead shot at Jaster! (R: 118 vs D:764)
Dodged!

Beniah laughs!

Beniah manages to blink the debris clear of his eyes.

Beniah says, "Ops.."

Beniah grins.

Jaster says, "You stole from a man who had a wife and children to feed."

Beniah asks, "Me?"

(left room for a moment)

Jaster says, "No, it was you. It was unmistakable."

Beniah says, "Nope."

Beniah says, "Wrong guy."

Beniah turns to Jaster.

Beniah exclaims, "Not me!"

Beniah shakes his head.

Beniah says, "I've never stolen a thing in my life.."

(River coughs and say yeah right)

Beniah nods.

Jaster says, "I ran into the poor goodwife, carrying a swaddled child in her hands. She said a behemoth of a man reached in her husbands pockets and took the riln he had earned for dinner tonight."

Mave laughs!

Beniah turns toward you.

Beniah waves his hand dismissively.

You say, "It's like the kettle calling the pot black."

Beniah nods to you.

Beniah exclaims, "Yeah!"

Beniah turns to Jaster.

Beniah says, "You probably did it.."

Speaking to Beniah, Jaster says, "The whole family could have gone hungry."

Beniah exclaims, "And are trying to throw me under the horse!"

Jaster glares at Beniah.

Jaster says, "I'm a responsible thief. I know how to choose my marks, and I certainly don't steal from the poor."

Speaking to Jaster, Beniah says, "Look, just becaseu you got caught, don't blame this on me."

Beniah nods to Jaster.

Jaster says, "No matter.."

Beniah nods to you.

Speaking to Beniah, Jaster says, "Just don't let me catch you taking from those who really need it anymore."

Beniah exclaims, "You dont catch me doin' nothin!"

Beniah asks, "And if you do, what then?"

Beniah peers quizzically at Jaster.

Beniah grins.

Beniah nods.

Speaking to Beniah, Jaster says, "I'll hit you where the sun doesn't shine, and you won't see it coming."

Beniah scoffs at Jaster.

Mave snickers.

Beniah says, "You can't even reach up to where my sun dont shine, little fella."

Jaster says, "I don't have to reach."

Jaster says, "Besides, I can do this."

Jaster leaps upward and performs a smooth flip, landing back on his feet with nary a sound.

Beniah says, "Ooo."

Beniah says, "Fancy."

Beniah nods to Jaster.

Jaster says, "Surely I can reach your groin."

Beniah exclaims, "For a girl!"
---Also, I can kill you with my brain.

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Postby Rias » Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:12 pm

It's always the [url=clok.contrarium.net/img/lisa_demons.png]quiet ones[/url] who end up being involved in the really creepy stuff.
The lore compels me!

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Postby Jaster » Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:21 am

You are holding a wavy-bladed iron kris in your right hand and a thing in your left hand.
You are wearing a debonair dual-feathered hat, some dark tinted spectacles, a sleek black wool scarf, a black oilcloth satchel, a shoulder powderhorn, a black oilcloth backpack, a rune-embroidered forest green cloak, a supple leather vest, some leather vambraces (battered), a pair of bronze-knuckled fingerless caestus, a deep red ruby ring, a leather utility belt, a belt holster, a black oilcloth pouch, a leather locksmith kit, some thick leather pants (scuffed), some black cotton socks and a pair of supple leather shoes.

You wave your thing around.

You wave your thing around.

You wave your thing around.

You wave your thing around.

Rias says, "So inappropriate."

You wave your thing around.

You laugh!

You say, "I didn't even notice until you said that."

You wave your thing around.

You wave your thing around.

The world spins wildly around you until it's nothing but an indiscernable blur. A moment later the spinning stops to reveal you are in a completely different place.

[Shadgard Jail, Cell] (InRk)
This cell is spacious, but scantily-furnished. Some battered cots lie along the stone walls, none too close to a pit in one corner. A small amount of light filters in through a barred window set in a sturdy iron-bound door in the west wall.
You have trouble seeing in the low light. The area is completely silent.
Obvious exits: none.

You wave your thing around.

[OOC - Cutpurse Jaster]: i have to go around doing this to people

You wave your thing around.

You wave your thing around.

You wave your thing around.

Rias cracks a leather whip at you! (M: 100224 vs D:806)
1 slash damage -- to the left hand, somewhat deflected by a pair of bronze-knuckled fingerless caestus.
(energy -1)
Rias tugs on his leather whip, yanking your left hand forward forecfully and causing you to lose your grip on your thing!
Your thing falls to the ground!

Rias picks up a thing.

Rias says, "No idea where this came from."

Rias exclaims, "But you no longer get to hold your thing in this town, varmint!"

You laugh!

You say, "My poor thing."
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Postby Orris » Fri Dec 30, 2011 12:45 am

Sceptus showing up tonight after reading my post on the town post board was pretty humorous. Sorry, Shadgard!
While planning a trip to the haunted galleon with a bunch of people on ESP...
[FROM Vinz (OOC)]: what are the nether called on that pirate ship again?
[TO Vinz (OOC)]: I'm scared to tell you...
[FROM Vinz (OOC)]: DO-IT >:)

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Postby Alexander » Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:13 pm

I found this rather amusing:

pull lev
You pull a gate lever.
A thick stone-reinforced wooden gate spanning the width of the canyon opens.

EAvd>
You hear someone shout from the other side of the gate, followed by a response from someone at the upper rim of the canyon who yells, "The gate's already open, lackwit!"
(Alexander clenches a fist momentarily, then stops and calms himself with visible effort.)
[FROM Eira (OOC)]: LET IT OUT, MAN!

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Postby Jaster » Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:35 pm

Hey, that lackwit was me!
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Postby Jaster » Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:38 pm

[img=derpsonic]http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/10000000/DERP-sonic-the-hedgehog-10015621-640-553.jpg[/img]




That's for you Rias.
Last edited by Jaster on Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Postby Rias » Wed Jan 04, 2012 1:40 pm

Hahahahaha. Man. Laughing at work = not good. I need a way to smite people on the BBS.
The lore compels me!

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Postby Bryce » Tue Jan 10, 2012 6:07 pm

[Guild of Thieves, Vault]
Hey! How did you get in here? You're not supposed to be here. Better send a BUG report with the details of how you got here.
The area is completely silent.
You also notice an iron-bound reinforced wooden door lined with multiple locks.
Obvious exits: none.
Speaking to you, Vaylon asks, "If I touch your hair, will I get some of your power?"
[CHAT - Helenna]: I don't know if it's funny or disturbing that you know which are the best water closets in the game.

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Postby Jaster » Tue Jan 10, 2012 9:58 pm

You lose your grip while trying to climb the thick branches providing easy access to the ground below and fall!

[Robber Camp, Tent Site] (OutFr)
The camp slopes slightly to the east with a birch tree at the edge of the camp. A large thicket runs north along the base of a large plateu.
The area is mostly quiet.
It is cold.
The area is filled with a deep snow.
Obvious paths: west, northwest, north, the wilderness.

You crash to the ground in a heap!
1 crush damage - to the head, barely deflected by a debonair dual-feathered hat.
(energy -1)
Roundtime: 3 seconds.

EWpAvd>

You feel fully rested.

laugh
You laugh!


I fell on my fat head. Lol.
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Postby Landion » Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:45 am

Good thing those giant feathers were there to cushion your fall...
No longer GMing for CLOK.

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Postby River » Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:45 pm

---Also, I can kill you with my brain.

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Postby Stranger » Thu Jan 12, 2012 3:26 am

I found that picture of sonic hilarious and I had to know where it came from. I did a little research and found that it was a re-draw from an old bugs bunny cartoon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsTXumUC3jg
(Pause at 1:10)
"No one knows whether death, which people fear to be the greatest evil, may not be the greatest good."
Plato

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Postby Jaster » Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:23 am

Oh, trust me. We know. Rias and I spent one night researching it, much to River's displeasure. Paha! Kudos on finding the footage though, we didn't find that.
Last edited by Jaster on Thu Jan 12, 2012 8:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Postby Jaster » Sun Jan 15, 2012 12:41 am

[img=DERP]http://img.techpowerup.org/090421/derp.jpg[/img]
Speaking to Garith, you exclaim, "Ban' baaan'!"

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Postby Bryce » Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:23 pm

I agree with the Guild of Thieves philosophy that magic can't be trusted. Observe:

[OOC - Pyromaniac Mave]: i'm not that educated in geomancy, but if you ever want a lesson on pyromancy, just ask
* You hear a deep bell toll in your mind, followed by the name "Mave."
Last edited by Bryce on Sun Jan 15, 2012 8:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Speaking to you, Vaylon asks, "If I touch your hair, will I get some of your power?"
[CHAT - Helenna]: I don't know if it's funny or disturbing that you know which are the best water closets in the game.

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