For Humor

Tangela
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Re: For Humor

Post by Tangela » Sat Oct 29, 2016 10:00 pm

that... was surprisingly fun:

You come out of hiding.
You pull the string of your confetti popper!
The confetti popper explodes with a bang, causing colorful confetti to spray forth and cover an infested river scavenger from head to toe!
e
[Infested Village, North Bank] [temperate] Mild
Obvious paths: west.

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Evelyn
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Location: UK

Re: For Humor

Post by Evelyn » Fri Nov 18, 2016 1:32 pm

So this just happened. (facepalm) But got to love Bone-White's response. I giggle snorted my drink. Sorry again guys!

20:06:09 [ESP-GRAY - Wild-Strawberry]: Impressive breast.
20:06:29 [ESP-GRAY - Bone-White]: Pardon?
20:06:35 [CHAT - Kelsus]: lol
20:06:39 [CHAT - Kelsus]: beast?
20:07:06 [CHAT - Evelyn]: OMG. Sorry1 :0
20:07:09 [ESP-GRAY - Bone-White]: I take it you've had significant success with a breastplate?

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Jirato
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Re: For Humor

Post by Jirato » Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:16 pm

> gm cfind caribou
a fungus-covered caribou (infested_caribou) FOUND IN x4997y5024 (150/150)north_plains deer_infested resen_nonhostile
(repeat this about 100 times in various rooms)
a red-nosed fungus-covered caribou (infested_rudolph) FOUND IN x4999y5003 (150/150)scarecrow_forest deer_infested resen_nonhostile

(I see the "nonhostile" in their AI and type up a quick few lines of code to loop through the existing critters in the game world and update them...)
> bugfix
Done!

> gm cfind caribou
a fungus-covered caribou (infested_caribou) FOUND IN x4997y5024 (150/150)north_plains deer_infested resen
(repeat this about 100 times in various rooms)
a red-nosed fungus-covered caribou (infested_rudolph) FOUND IN x4999y5003 (150/150)scarecrow_forest deer_infested resen
(Note the lack of "nonhostile" next to their AI...)

[ESP-GRAY - Deep-Carmine]: Ack!
[ESP-GRAY - Cinnamon]: Damn it, someone attacked the main one, this one is attackin me.
(Chaos follows)
Any timing of my "bugfix" command with someone attacking the red-nosed caribou was purely coincidental, however, I love the reaction. :-)
[GMCHAT Uyoku]: Octum is when the octumbunny comes around and lays pumpkins everywhere right?
[GMCHAT Rias]: Dimmes says "oh hai :) u need healz? ill get u dont worry thaum lasers pew pew pew lol"
[CHAT - GameMaster Rias would totally nuke Rooks]: Here's how elemancy works: The freeblegreeble and the zippoflasm have to be combined with the correct ration of himbleplimp, then you add the gargenheimer and adjust the froopulon for the pattern you want, apply some tarratarrtarr, yibble the wantaban, and let 'er rip!

Lun
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Re: For Humor

Post by Lun » Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:18 pm

Speaking to Saeda, a bored-looking bouncer asks, "What is he on about?"
Speaking to a bored-looking bouncer, Saeda resignedly says, "I don't even know anymore."
You exclaim, "I don't know either!"
You fold your arms across your chest.
A bored-looking bouncer chuckles.

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Noctere
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Re: For Humor

Post by Noctere » Thu Mar 16, 2017 5:21 pm

Image

For screen readers this shows a black t-shirt with the words, "SAVE THE NETHRIM!" all in caps.
It's not easy being evil...

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Kiyaani
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Re: For Humor

Post by Kiyaani » Thu Mar 16, 2017 5:25 pm

For the VI group - his post is a picture of a t-shirt that says "save the nethrim!".

Dakhal
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Re: For Humor

Post by Dakhal » Fri Mar 24, 2017 1:56 am

You hand over 720 riln and purchase 4 fauteuil ebonwood chairs, which you put into your sizeable ebon leather rucksack with a silver capped leather cinch.

I'm pretty great.

Yeah.

Just let me shove the tea table in there and I have a portable party! Tea, anyone?
Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If you love me, I'll always be in your heart. If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind.
I lead a Life of Sin.

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Zahrah
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Re: For Humor

Post by Zahrah » Fri Apr 07, 2017 8:32 pm

An old man who lies fast asleep by the stage suddenly awakes again, this time with a yell of, "MORE WINE!" The finely dressed waiter hears the call but this time chooses to ignore it. Again the old man awakes and yells, "MORE MINE!". The waiter also ignores this. And again the old man yells, "BOAR VINE!" By this time everyone is ignoring him and his wife comes up and drags him away via his loose coat shoulders.

(Hakon's eyes sharpen at the sound of the word "boar," but he loses interest almost immediately after seeing no such creature in the immediate area.)
I literally loled.
Dorn bluntly asks, "And does it appear I have a wagon in my pocket?"
You quip, "It would honestly not surprise me if you did."

You notice a horribly disfigured squirrel quietly scanning the area while attempting to appear nonchalant about it.

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Jirato
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Re: For Humor

Post by Jirato » Sun Apr 09, 2017 4:52 am

Dorn - Today at 7:50 AM
something I'm doing is about to get nerfed... maybe if I stand still, it won't happen
GMs are like T-Rexs.
If you don't move, they don't know you're there
[GMCHAT Uyoku]: Octum is when the octumbunny comes around and lays pumpkins everywhere right?
[GMCHAT Rias]: Dimmes says "oh hai :) u need healz? ill get u dont worry thaum lasers pew pew pew lol"
[CHAT - GameMaster Rias would totally nuke Rooks]: Here's how elemancy works: The freeblegreeble and the zippoflasm have to be combined with the correct ration of himbleplimp, then you add the gargenheimer and adjust the froopulon for the pattern you want, apply some tarratarrtarr, yibble the wantaban, and let 'er rip!

Lun
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Posts: 613
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 5:10 pm

Re: For Humor

Post by Lun » Mon Oct 30, 2017 7:28 am

Gralkik, the knight in shining armor, arrives to save the day! Fear the mighty spider slayer!
You peer into a web-covered tunnel and see ...
[Complete Darkness]
It's too dark to see anything here!
Obvious exits: unknown

((Later, once inside.))

a hairy green-brown spider arrives from the north.
a sleek black spider arrives from the north.
Gralkik is revealed by a sleek black spider!
Gralkik says, "Lots of spiders."
an albino spider arrives from the north.

A sleek black spider turns and fires a mass of sticky webbing from its spinners.
Gralkik is bound tightly in a mass of sticky webbing!

Gralkik struggles to break free of the sticky webbing.

You hurl a molten boulder at a hairy green-brown spider.
Socket crushed and eyeball popped.
A hairy green-brown spider has been defeated.
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

Gralkik struggles to break free of the sticky webbing.

You hurl a molten boulder at a sleek black spider.
Socket crushed and eyeball popped.
A sleek black spider has been defeated.
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

Gralkik struggles to break free of the sticky webbing.

An albino spider attacks Gralkik with its leaping bite!
Gralkik falls to the ground!

Gralkik struggles to break free of the sticky webbing.

You hurl a molten boulder at an albino spider.
A molten boulder hurtles toward an albino spider.
Dodged!
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

Gralkik struggles to break free of the sticky webbing.

You hurl a molten boulder at an albino spider.
A molten boulder hurtles toward an albino spider.
Dodged!
Roundtime: 5 seconds.

Gralkik struggles to break free of the sticky webbing.

An albino spider attacks Gralkik with its leaping bite!
Piercing strike hits the jugular and death quickly follows.
Gralkik has been defeated.
... Poor Gralkik barely lasted 20 seconds. RIP, Gralkik, RIP. You will be missed.

For the record, the next one hit. Is it my fault? It was a very nimble spider!

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Evelyn
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Location: UK

Re: For Humor

Post by Evelyn » Mon Nov 27, 2017 6:05 pm

This made me giggle! <3 Zoe.

You hear the voice of Zoe ask, "Can you attack things with your candle?"

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Shainar
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Re: For Humor

Post by Shainar » Sat Jan 20, 2018 12:13 am

An inky black shade attacks you with its chilling touch!
chilling touch (+*****) (M:258 vs D:0 B:0 P:0) 25 nether damage (left eye)
Eyeball dissolves into wisps of inky smoke, leaving an empty socket behind.
Shainar has been defeated.

[DEAD]>

TIP: Armor is tougher than skin. Wearing armor can help improve your chances of survival.
(You can disable this by typing option showtips.)
Well played, tip system. Well played.

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Evelyn
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Location: UK

Re: For Humor

Post by Evelyn » Sun Apr 22, 2018 1:55 pm

Marl gazes at you before raising his hand in a rude gesture.
[CHAT - Marl succeeds to amuse]: WRONG emote.

Cute!
The Rig-Jarl Bjorn gives you a bone-crushing bearhug.

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Ardor
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Re: For Humor

Post by Ardor » Fri Apr 27, 2018 9:07 am

Just making sure this doesn't vanish into the void of discord chat.
Rias - Yesterday at 6:37 PM
Here is Rook. Look at Rook. Rook must cook. Rook needs book. Rook needs book to learn to cook. Rook needs to get a Rook Cook Book.
Rook took book from cook-book nook. Rook hangs cook-book on a hook to look at book while trying to cook.

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Akila
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Re: For Humor

Post by Akila » Sat May 19, 2018 9:04 am

Hakkon says, "I shall find a different spot to make my hunt. Apologies. If I can I shall send one your way."

Hakkon heads south.

A dirt-covered scavenger comes hurtling in from the south and lands on the ground with a crash!
31 crush damage to the left eye!
Just perfect. Thanks, Hakkon.
[CHAT - Mayor Bryce of Bryceburgh]: It's that funny metal thing you put in your mouth, Galon, and then it goes "Boing, doing, dwang, dwang, doing, ding, boing, dwahng."
04:06:02 [CHAT - Mayor Bryce of Bryceburgh]: You know, the thing Snoopy plays to help Charlie Brown remember "i before e, except after c"

Hakkon
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Re: For Humor

Post by Hakkon » Sat May 19, 2018 9:11 am

Akila wrote:
Sat May 19, 2018 9:04 am
Hakkon says, "I shall find a different spot to make my hunt. Apologies. If I can I shall send one your way."

Hakkon heads south.

A dirt-covered scavenger comes hurtling in from the south and lands on the ground with a crash!
31 crush damage to the left eye!
Just perfect. Thanks, Hakkon.
It's. Beautiful.

Fayne
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Posts: 602
Joined: Mon Oct 06, 2014 7:21 pm
Location: Illinois

Re: For Humor

Post by Fayne » Tue May 29, 2018 8:02 pm

The ranger Relyna says, "We've heard that a lot of people have been harvesting skyroot in the wilderness. Head out to the Forgotten Meadow area and see if you can find some to cultivate."
How forgotten can a place be when you're being told to go there to cultivate herbs for the "lot of people" that are frequenting it?
A scrawny alley cat stares after the dog with big green eyes.
Speaking to a scrawny alley cat, you ask, "Friend of yours?"
A scrawny alley cat hisses angrily.

gralkik
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Posts: 81
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Location: Northern Ontario

Re: For Humor

Post by gralkik » Wed Aug 22, 2018 5:22 pm

Chione says, "There was a castle, and in it, there was a great feast and a prince. And a man came and bowed low before the prince, and an eye of the man's was missing. the eye-hole was bleeding."

Zeldryn nods slowly.

Balein nods.

Chione says, "The prince inquired of him, 'What has happened to you?' and the man replied, 'Prince, I am a thief and this night, there was no moon. I went to rob the riln-changer's shop, and I climbed through the window. But because it was dark, I went into the weaver's shop, and ran into the loom. My eye was plucked out.'."

Chione says, "The thief continued, looking up with his remaining eye, 'Prince, I ask for revenge upon the weaver.'."

Zeldryn nods slowly.

Balein nods slowly.

Chione slowly says, "The Prince sent for the weaver and he came, and the Prince said he must lose an eye."

(Zeldryn looks a bit confused, at that, but nods further, listening closely.)

Balein eyes Chione speculatively.

Chione says, "The Weaver laid down in front of the prince and cried, "Prince, what you say is right. But I need both eyes so I can see either side of the loom when I weave. But I have a neighbour- a shoeman- who also has two eyes, and he does not need both of them.'."

Chione says, "So the prince nodded and sent for the cobbler instead, and the cobbler came. And one of his eyes was removed to avenge the Thief."

Chione slowly says, "And so he was avenged."

(Chione goes back to patting her horse as she finishes the strange tale.)

Zeldryn slowly asks, "I.. Don't believe I understand. If the man plainly admitted himself a thief, then why, by all of the names of all of the immortals, was he given vengeance for his own blunder?"

Chione simply says, "Because Life is unfair, and sometimes it is those that do not deserve it that get things undeserved."
Zeldryn rubs his chin thoughtfully.

Balein say, "Ah, yes. Life is most certainly unfair."

Chione rubs her chin thoughtfully.

Speaking to Chione, Zeldryn slowly says, "Interesting words from an interesting lady. That's certainly food for thought."

Chione says, "But I think the story has many meanings even if it is an unpleasant one."

Balein say, "But, that's the element of the game. Knowing it is unfair."

Chione nods to Balein.

Balein ask, "So.. about the feast. What happened to it?"

Chione asks, "The story asks many questions. Why did the Prince listen to the thief? Why did the Weaver seek his neighbour to be hurt? Why did the cobbler not defend himself?"

Speaking to Balein, Chione says, "I am guessing it continued, and that it was not a good one for the cobbler."

Speaking to Chione, Balein say, "Oh, that's simple. The Cobbler had a sole."

(Chione blinks at Balein, before slowly nodding.)

Zeldryn stares at Balein.

Speaking to Balein, Zeldryn asks, "Did.. Did you really?"

(Balein holds his compsure, remaining silent.)

Zeldryn politely says, "A moment."

Chione says, "It is those that do not speak for themselves that are sometimes hurt."

Chione nods.

(Chione seems to have missed the pun, but nods thoughtfully.)

(Zeldryn removes his rucksack, puts his head inside of it, and proceeds to scream a lightly muted scream for about five seconds before putting the bag back on his back without a second word on the matter.)

Zeldryn politely says, "Alright. Fine now."

(Chione glances to Zeldryn with a raised eyebrow.)

Chione concernedly asks, "You are okay?"

(Zeldryn nods easily, looking relaxed.)

Zeldryn plainly says, "That pun was just a bit too much for me, that's all."

Chione rubs her chin thoughtfully.

Balein chuckle at Zeldryn.

Chione confusedly asks, "There was a pun?"

Zeldryn groans.

Zeldryn slowly says, "The.. The cobbler. He.. He had a.. Oh, nevermind."

(Chione nods slowly.)

(Chione reaches over and pats Zeldryn gently on the shoulder.)

Zeldryn sighs dramatically.

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Jaster
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Re: For Humor

Post by Jaster » Thu Aug 23, 2018 8:19 am

Surely, a tale that should sit next to "The Legend of the Frigid Cuirass" in the Annals of All Legendary Stories of Legend and Legendary Yore and Stuff and Things - coming soon to a shady bookseller near you.

gralkik
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Posts: 81
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Location: Northern Ontario

Re: For Humor

Post by gralkik » Mon Sep 03, 2018 5:17 pm

I don't know why I am amused by this:
clean pelt
A treated poor rabbit pelt shies away from you and backs away.
It's still sentient!

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Kent
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Re: For Humor

Post by Kent » Sun Sep 09, 2018 5:05 pm

gralkik wrote:
Mon Sep 03, 2018 5:17 pm
I don't know why I am amused by this:
clean pelt
A treated poor rabbit pelt shies away from you and backs away.
It's still sentient!
Yes, it's funny to see the 'haunted pelt' behave like that. Bets are on as to how long this bug will go unsquashed.
- Kent "Gunney" Gunderman


A dirty woodsman frowns at you and suggests you return after getting cleaned up.

Helpful tips, commands, and hints for new CLOKers: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2367&p=12822#p12822

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Mirazia
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Re: For Humor

Post by Mirazia » Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:51 am

We have this bet amongst the GM Team. We think a year, because when we go to fix the non-gamebreaking bug, we just start giggling far too much at it becomes impossible. It's almost like the pelt is really haunted and controls us!
A greater lich looks over the posts on a large post board.

(Samani practically snarls as she consumes her flapjacks in one go.)

Dark powers surround Noctere and he brings forth his hands to summon... to summon... TO SUMMON!...
a handful of popcorn which appear on the ground with a slight POOF sound. Then Noctere leaves.

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Kent
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Re: For Humor

Post by Kent » Tue Sep 11, 2018 6:53 am

Mirazia wrote:
Mon Sep 10, 2018 2:51 am
We have this bet amongst the GM Team. We think a year, because when we go to fix the non-gamebreaking bug, we just start giggling far too much at it becomes impossible. It's almost like the pelt is really haunted and controls us!
That's some pretty scary shiz you guys have to deal with!

I'll stay where it's safer, for example, The Shadgard Mine.
- Kent "Gunney" Gunderman


A dirty woodsman frowns at you and suggests you return after getting cleaned up.

Helpful tips, commands, and hints for new CLOKers: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=2367&p=12822#p12822

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Aranon
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Re: For Humor

Post by Aranon » Tue Sep 18, 2018 6:19 am

A doorman stops you from entering. "Please, sir, at least the veneer of civilization. No drawn weapons, please."

inventory
You are holding a birch staff in your right hand.
No, you would not part an old man from his walking stick?
“Curiosity is like the stomach of a man who only eats the wind.”

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Akila
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Re: For Humor

Post by Akila » Wed Nov 28, 2018 11:46 am

Marl asks, "Lemme change out of this armor. There a place here to clean up?"

You say, "Um..."

EWAvdGrBd>
A constant patter can be heard as rain falls from the sky.
You are thoroughly drenched!
The blood has been washed from you.
The gore has been washed from you.

The gore has been washed from Marl.
The blood has been washed from Marl.

(Metztli points to the sky.)

Water slowly drips off you, though you remain drenched.

(Marl stares upward.)
Dat timing.
[CHAT - Mayor Bryce of Bryceburgh]: It's that funny metal thing you put in your mouth, Galon, and then it goes "Boing, doing, dwang, dwang, doing, ding, boing, dwahng."
04:06:02 [CHAT - Mayor Bryce of Bryceburgh]: You know, the thing Snoopy plays to help Charlie Brown remember "i before e, except after c"

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