Being a Better Person

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Being a Better Person

Postby Lun » Fri Nov 10, 2017 8:47 am

Hey all. I've been practicing this thing recently called "Thinking before I speak." I realize that the words that I say often can have great impact even when they're completely nonsensical and spoken just out of jest. And this can lead to poor feelings between us, as people.

I'd love to share this helpful set of questions to ask yourself before you hit that enter button, in hopes that it brings greater feelings of joy to all.

This is called the Four - Way Test, written by Herbert J Taylor in the 1930s.

1) Is it the truth?
2) Is it fair to all concerned?
3) Will it build goodwill and better friendships?
4) Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

I often mistaken my attempts at wit to be harmless jokes, but others can and will take it seriously. And likewise, I, too, have taken seriously other peoples jokes and this has caused frictions.

Please be kind to one another.
Thanks, all.

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Re: Being a Better Person

Postby Marauder » Fri Nov 10, 2017 11:12 am

Honestly I say a lot of nonsensical things as jokes too, but I also feel that if someone takes it the wrong way, they should express that to me themselves and ask me to stop with that line. All it takes is a tell to me saying something like, "Hey, I'm insulted by that comment you just made, can you please not?" and I'll apologize and cut it out.

Proper communication is key because lots of cues that are normally found in conversation are not present in text, so if you don't know someone well and they make an off-hand comment, you could take it the wrong way or they could mistake your subtle attempts at changing the conversation for something else.

Making inane jokes is kind of who I am and is a hard thing to suppress entirely, but if you ask for me to stop with some path of jokes, I will.

Unless your name is Artus and you say something about eating Uyoku, in which case I'll immediately rename myself to act in the name of the knighthood. Please don't attempt to eat the Event Gurus.

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Re: Being a Better Person

Postby Dakhal » Fri Nov 10, 2017 11:18 am

I'm a villain. ICly and OOCly. It helps to stay in the role.

If I come off as mean.. I probably meant it! But I don't tend to say anything unless I have a reason and a point to make, so there's that.

Yeah.

Yep.
Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If you love me, I'll always be in your heart. If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind.
I lead a Life of Sin.

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Re: Being a Better Person

Postby ironcross32 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 7:20 pm

Yeah, I'm not a great people person, and don't really understand people, so, things I say tend to be misinterpreted, though I do have the unfortunate habit of lashing out at people.

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Re: Being a Better Person

Postby Jaster » Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:43 am

I never joke.

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Re: Being a Better Person

Postby Dakhal » Sat Nov 11, 2017 11:45 am

That must be so sad for you Jaster, you sarcastic prawn.

We miss ya.
Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If you love me, I'll always be in your heart. If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind.
I lead a Life of Sin.

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Re: Being a Better Person

Postby Vestyn » Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:18 pm

Marauder wrote:Proper communication is key because lots of cues that are normally found in conversation are not present in text, so if you don't know someone well and they make an off-hand comment, you could take it the wrong way or they could mistake your subtle attempts at changing the conversation for something else.


I agree completely with this statement. I think it all comes down to remembering that there is someone else on the other side of the keyboard. While we may intend something to come off as sarcastic, or even bluntly honest, we can still do it with some respect and take the other person into account. I'm not saying to spare their pride, because we all have to hear hard things, but I am saying there's no reason to be an outright jerk, either. I think this is a good reminder to me, and I hope it is to everyone else, too.

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